Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
