Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
