just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
