I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
