I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
