This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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