In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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