The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
