new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
The air taste purple.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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