shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
