you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
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I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
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I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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