yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
She said her name was "party"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
