When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
