yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
