Too much gin, very little bucket
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
