Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
