these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
