Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
