today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
