Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
