Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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