Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
