fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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