Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Holy shit dude........stairs
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
