I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
