brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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