I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
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