I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
