I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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