my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Randomize
