We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
