I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
