and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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