i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
