so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
