We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
