i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
