break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
