Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
