so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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