Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
