We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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