When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
