So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
