Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
My penis needs a shock collar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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