so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
