i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Randomize