better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
