erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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