Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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