Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
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I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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