I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
