speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
