made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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