I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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