$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
