ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
