i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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