I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
