Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
