bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize