Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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