Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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