That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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