I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
