You can't special order awesome
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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