We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
