note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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