Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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