I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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